The active listening skills could be termed specific refinements of attending behavior. Earlier, we asked you to think about yourself and your ability to attend. ­ere we gave some focus to talk time....

The active listening skills could be termed specific refinements of attending behavior. Earlier, we asked you to think about yourself and your ability to attend. ­ere we gave some focus to talk time. In a conversation, do you talk most of the time? Or are you mainly a listener? Or perhaps you evenly balance talk time. ­ink back and start observing yourself even more carefully on these dimensions. ­en, as a second part of self-reflection, ask yourself the following questions: (1) Am I an encouraging person, indicating to the person that I am there through smiling and short minimal encourages (uh-huh, yes, tell me more). (2) Do I paraphrase to make sure that I understand the cognitive frame of my friends and family, particularly when we see thing differently or even have conflict. (3) Less likely, have you ever listened so carefully to someone that you summarize what they have said so that they (and you) truly understand?